Infidelity is the breaking of a promise to remain faithful to a mate. It has many forms, from the marriage vows to the verbal agreement of two people. Infidelity is associated with high divorce rates, but this is not the rule, as some couples – although they have admitted to infidelity – remain in the marriage.
Also, the percentage of adults who have been unfaithful is around 13% throughout adulthood, peaking at around 40 where a percentage of 20% has been recorded.
But infidelity also creates great emotional pressure due to the risk that characterizes it. So why do couples go through this process? Psychological research has shown that we are unfaithful because we feel:
1. Lack of sexual satisfaction in the relationship.
This is the most common reason given. Both women and men have parallel relationships hoping to improve their sex lives. They express satisfaction with their primary relationship in many areas, apart from the sexual one, and that is why they seek pleasure elsewhere.
2. Desire for more sexual experiences.
Many people enter a relationship relatively young and as a result, they don’t have enough sexual experiences. When the years pass and their relationship or marriage becomes permanent, they want to meet other sexual partners to have a different experience. They also consider this a way of rewarding their progress so far.
3. Lack of emotional satisfaction in the relationship.
Emotional intimacy can be almost as important as sexual experience. Many said that over the years and routine, the emotional bond was lost and the search for emotional confirmation led them to a new partner who could appreciate and understand their needs.
5. Absence of love.
Although love is difficult to determine, many said in the survey that they no longer felt love for their partner. Problems and daily friction had altered their relationship and this led them to no longer want to be with this person anymore because they did not love him/her.
6. Love for someone else.
Many people reported that they had fallen in love with someone else with whom they began to feel emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy and this led them to move away from their primary relationship.
7. Revenge.
In a relationship that has already suffered, the desire to harm the other is very big. When the other person has treated us badly, discredited us, infidelity seems to be the best solution to avenge them as we hope that we will hurt them as much as they hurt us.
8. That opportunity “knocked on the door.”
Sometimes the reason for infidelity is simpler than we think. Many in the surveys said they cheated because it seemed like a good opportunity they did not want to miss. Also, what they did was not experienced as infidelity but as something temporary that did not matter!
But let us be honest. Is there monogamy nowadays? And how is it defined when the temptations are many and appear in many forms, through an email, a message, an sms and from social networks? Where does social contact stop and where does infidelity begin when boundaries are pierced? Maybe Sasha Gitri, the French writer, was right when he said that “Wedding is like in a restaurant: as soon as you are served you look at other people’s dishes”.
