When we are in a relationship we feel sometimes the urge to suggest some changes in our partner’s life even if they didn’t ask for them. For fear of losing them we do not communicate directly but indirectly our suggestions.
How? Let’s see some examples:
1. We sneak some of our personal belongings into their apartment, without asking if we may.
Many times the results are disastrous because they feel that we are invading into their personal space. How that make us feel? We feel disappointed because they “don’t love us enough”. Love has nothing to do with invention! Everybody needs a private space. As your partners for permission, maybe they are not ready yet. Give them time to adjust.
2. “When we go out don’t you dare look anybody else but me.”
How is that possible? There are so many people out there; of course they can look at them, but not to flirt with them when they are with you, because that shows that they don’t respect you. Instead of forbidding them to do so, check upon them. If you don’t approve of their behavior, ask yourself if they are the right people for you. If not, move on and find someone else who respect you more.
3. “Love me unconditionally.”
There is no unconditional love. All intelligent people put their limits in all relationships, family, friendships, let alone love affairs, and that is the healthy thing to do. Smart people do things because they want to and not because they have to. It is their choice not their obligation. Think about it, could you love unconditionally and allow the other to play with your feelings? If you cannot do it, why do you expect the other one to do so?
4. “First me, then your friends.”
I’m sorry, but this is not going to happen, because friends are very important to us, it is the family that we chose. The person you are in a relationship with has a past, like you. If he/ she is not antisocial then he / she has friends. Respect that and don’t try to fight them, because you may lose the battle. Be friends with his/her friends and live at peace.
Many peoples were killed because they wanted freedom. So why have a relationship that deprives you from it? It is not healthy and it will never end up well.
