We often wonder why we don’t yet have what we want; this is a question that can be relevant to every context, either personal, professional, or social. Why do I not have the relationship I dream of? Why didn’t I get a bonus? Why do I not answer back to insults? These, among others, are some of the questions that might cross you mind every single day.
Have you ever thought that these questions keep you in the past? Thinking of what you would wish to happen but did not, what obstacles you encountered but didn’t overcome, what you would desire to happen in a different way. These thoughts keep alive memories of the past while affecting today’s behaviors and choices. And indeed, it’s easier and therefore more likely to repeat some of the “unwanted” behaviors, than to try a new one, acting with self-control and courage. If we were to share a success secret, that would be “Look ahead!” Probably everyone knows in his own heart how this can become a reality. However, here is a simple suggestion that you can follow:
- Think of a behavior you want to adopt or a goal you want to achieve.
- Now think of a person you admire because he already has this behavior or has already achieved the goal you desire.
- Write down in detail the behavior of this person. It is important to focus on the tiniest detail! The way he moves and talks, clothing, habits, appearance. Everything!
- In your mind, adopt as many of this person’s behaviors as possible. Think about what it would be like to be in his shoes for a while and observe yourself in your imagination.
- And now it’s time for role play! Try this new behavior in your real life. For example, if you wish the increase that your colleague got, start feeling and acting as if you’ve already received it. Take care of yourself, walk with confidence, think “I got the increase I wanted for so long!” and feel like you’ve already achieved your goal!
The most important is to start now! Because now is what you’ve got. Yesterday has passed and tomorrow is not certain. Do not give up claiming a reality that you want, a reality that can be yours if you choose to live it.
