It may sound harsh to want to take someone out of our lives, but our life is too short to spend it with people who hurt us. There are many people around us who live in denial, criticism and dissatisfaction. They are so many that we may be used to them, even though they upset or hurt us and we may spend a lot of time with them. But it is time to reconsider and get rid of their negative energy. How?
1. Set boundaries.
When you see that a friend is constantly hurting you, nothing productive is going to come out of this friendship, because you will give everything and he or she will always underestimate your every effort. So, we have to start saying no or stop! For example, if your friend starts complaining again about things that you have heard a thousand times before and said your opinion and he/she repeats them over and over again, hold their hand and say firmly: “Sorry, I do not want to hear about it now. You have your point of view and I have mine, so let’s stop this discussion. ” He will definitely not like your reaction and will try to pull you back into the same conversation. Resist! The more you say no, the stronger you will feel! After all, it is your right what you will hear and what you will not. So, practice it!
2. Move on without them.
If you know someone who insists on undermining your good mood, then it is clear that they are toxic. If you counsel them, urge them to change, be patient with them, pity them, but they ignore your efforts and do not seem willing to follow any of your advice, then ask yourself, “Do I need this person in my life? “Friendship needs to be mutual in order to be healthy, otherwise it is problematic. So, let’s leave these people in their misery, because they obviously like it and move on without them. Breathe and feel well at last!
3. Speak up!
When you find that there are people around you who will do anything to take advantage of you for their personal benefit, defend yourself… Speak up! Do not tolerate this behavior anymore. If they get angry and try to demean you, remember that this is what they know how to do well. Do not let them influence you, because they are more afraid of you. They are afraid that you may have misunderstood their intentions and exposed them. So, you are stronger. If they raise their voices, leave. Do not let them drag you into their “vortex”. Yes, they know a lot of tricks to pull their “victims” into their vortex and exploit them either emotionally or materially. Do not allow yourself to become one of them!
4. Gradually move away.
It is important to keep the balance. You cannot cut off an acquaintance from one moment to the next, especially if the relationship that connects you is professional. Take a more polite and neutral stance and slowly move away from this problematic person. During your life, you will make many friendships and acquaintances, there is no reason to let them drift everything in their path. Find excuses that are acceptable and plausible and make your disappearance slowly. It’s very easy: you will just start to be busy … very busy and you will not have enough time to go out with them. If they persist, just keep telling them that you cannot respond because you are busy. At some point they will stop insisting.
It is important to know what your priorities are in life. If you are looking for troubled friendships or relationships, it is probably time to visit a specialist to find out why this happens. Many say that they attract problematic people. Yes, it’s true. This happens. But the question is, why does it happen? What do we gain by associating with toxic and negative people? Because we too, have a share of responsibility! Isn’t is so?